god isn't holding up a perfect picture; he's writing a bigger story

today i am........... me reading a book called, parenting beyond your capacity. i was asked to read this book and talk about the chapter that spoke to me and i had to share! doesn't it drive you crazy to open up a magazine to see a family photo of a clean cut dad in his designer jeans with his tall, thin and tan wife sitting beside him, whom are both looking at their two perfectly well-behaved children while on a picnic under the sun?! i don't know about y'all but yeah right! like that is ever the real picture! and even knowing that we still feel pressure to make it seem like that perfect family is us. for instance i use to be ashamed to let people know the real story behind the fake smiles of our family picture. i thought if people knew i had once made really bad choices and thankfully my 1st child saved me from death but then was left a divorced single mom but finally re-married the man of my dreams, had 1 more child and then our life was completely turned upside down with medical complications and are now living pay check to pay check, if any1 knew that,who would want to be around me? so i would keep it all inside. but then once i did start to stare the ugly in it's face, god showed up and reminded me that we were just like most families out there. even in the bible god tells us of his own chosen people having baggage, they didn't make good choices and they even went through the worst of times. i sometimes wonder if god included hard times and mistakes in the bible to give us hope. a quote from the book is, "it seems like god is more interested in using broken people then he is in creating a better picture." so instead of focusing on that perfect picture, friends, lets focus on that story god is using us for. i also think about what a great demonstration that story can be for the next generations to come. start writing!

recovery

today i am.........


a wife and mother of two boys who is now 18 months sober/clean! my rock bottom was sitting on the floor in the bathroom @ my really really GOOD job shooting drugs into my feet. i received the help i needed and now know that i was saved only by the grace of god! it feels so good to be free from the disease that almost killed me and when i wake up everyday and realize my husband is still there and loves me and that my boys have there mom around to actually be there mom and they love me, well lets just say that's when i receive a "GOD WINK" ;)


even though some days can be so hard, open up those eyes and look for your god wink!